Friendship isn’t a big thing. It’s a million little things. ~ Author Unknown
Isn’t it so true? I don’t know who said it first, or who wrote it first, but it’s definitely one of the most true statements about friendship I’ve ever heard. Friendship means so many different things to so many different people. In a world where we “friend” on Facebook with people we aren’t actually friends with, how does one qualify real friends, from acquaintances? The million little things, that’s how!
Friendship is a million little things
It’s not just about the grand gestures in friendships. Is it great to have a friend who will take you on a great vacation, and never ask you to pay for a thing? Hell yes. I don’t think anyone will say no to a friend who wants to give such a grand gesture gift. If you’re lucky enough to have a friend offer such a gift, grab it and appreciate it. However, if this friend is only offering grand gesture gifts, but has no clue what your kids’ names are, chances are, this friendship isn’t really a friendship. You’ve got a very generous acquaintance, and there’s nothing wrong with that, all all!
Friendship, though? Friendship is in the details. It’s the million little things happening throughout your day, week, month, year, and decade. I’m not a perfect person, or a perfect friend. I’ve lost touch with friends throughout the years. However, when we reconnect, it’s like we haven’t missed a beat. Friendships like these are few and far between. Friendships like these are normally ones you hardwired into your SOUL when you were a kid. I’ve got two friends in my life who I can lose touch with for long periods of time, and pick up right where we left off without missing a beat. Both of those friends are ones I made during my single digit years.
Friendships solidified in childhood are unique. No matter how many years pass, we’re the same “kids” from all those years ago, but with adult problems, and kids of our own. Our million little things don’t encompass every day occurrences, but they do include knowing each other so well, we’re always on the same page when we reconnect. Friendships are truly about the little things, but sometimes the little things are different for different friendships.
Different “little things” in friendships
Going through life, there are times certain people enter my life, and a friendship is born. Do we need to talk every day? No. However, these are people I know well. I know the answer to a question, before I even ask the question. I know the exact eye roll that will she will give, when certain people are talking within a small group. I can look across the room, spot my friend and the look on her face tells me exactly what’s going on in her mind. However, I may not know her car wouldn’t start two mornings ago and she had to hustle to get her kids to school with the help of her mother. Why wouldn’t she call me? She knows I have two car seats, and there’s no way for me to fit any extra bodies in the car!
On the other hand, that same friend knows I’m the first person she could call if she needed me to get her from the train station at midnight in subzero weather. Why? She knows I’m usually up, working, and my husband doesn’t work nights, so I wouldn’t have to pack up the kids to come get her. It’s still a close friendship, and those are the million things that make it special for us.
If I need to talk something out, and hear the truth, I need my one friend who will tell me the truth, not the truth she thinks I want to hear. Yes, that’s one of those million little things that makes a friendship. I go to her for the truth, and she knows when she tells me the actual truth, I’ll accept it and not have a temper tantrum. It’s a trust that’s built between two people, thanks to those million little things.
I used to have a friend who’d say “Yeah, yeah, yeah” during a conversation. When that came out of his mouth, I knew he was no longer listening to anything I was telling him. He was done, and had his fill of the topic being discussed. Every time “yeah, yeah, yeah” came out of his mouth, I’d change gears and start talking about something totally off the wall. It would take him a minute to catch up with me, and we’d have a good laugh. Unfortunately, the million little things between us weren’t enough, which also happens. C’est la vie.
It’s not the big things that make a friendship “real.” It’s the million little things happening within the friendship. It’s little things, like the idiosyncrasies which make up your friend’s persona. It’s the meat and potatoes of her, or his, personality, which either solidifies the friendship, or provides the proof the friendship isn’t really a friendship. Knowing what you get when you’re a part of a friendship is what makes a friendship so special.
Friendships come, and some friendships don’t last. It doesn’t mean those million little things weren’t important, or special, it just means it wasn’t meant to be a lifelong relationship. However, it doesn’t change the fact that friendship isn’t a big thing. It’s a million little things.
How do you interpret this friendship quote? Please, share in the comments below.