I don’t know who said this, or wrote it, but I read it recently and it caused a light bulb to go off atop my head. Sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve. Just, read that again, sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve. Shit’s deep, isn’t it?
Forget what you feel, remember what you deserve
Long term relationships are difficult in many ways. I’ve been through multiple relationships. There have been romantic relationships, platonic friendship relationships, and family relationships. Pretty much like everyone else on the planet, right? What I never was good at, was understanding that just because I felt connected to someone and loved someone, it meant I had to put up with the horrific bullshit thrown at me during the relationship. Basically, I didn’t always remember what I deserve.
It’s not that I think I’m not good enough for great things from friends, boyfriends, spouses, or family. Sometimes, I just didn’t care. It was too much work to correct the crap being pulled on me. Fighting about stuff can be exhausting. Ignoring, it was just easier. In my head I rationalized things:
- I wouldn’t love someone if he isn’t worth it, would I? So, just ignore these little things, and focus on the good things.
- Well, this is how my parents talked to each other, so it must be okay, right?
- Girls are just like that when they get upset, she’ll come around and all will be fine. She’ll apologize for the trash talk.
- Blood is blood, and you don’t turn your back on family, so you put up with it – that’s being loyal.
- I should have been more of this, or that, so he didn’t have to go outside of us to find what he needed.
All stupid, I know. I forgot that just because I felt love, or like, for people, it didn’t mean I had to put up with lies, cheating, and abuse. I forgot what I deserved: respect, loyalty, kindness and LOVE. Love isn’t mean. It’s certainly not nasty, or spiteful. And it definitely shouldn’t cause more tears, than smiles and laughter.
Remember what you deserve
It’s such a simple thing, isn’t it? Remembering what you deserve. Why is it so difficult to remember, though? Honestly, I think we all forget what we deserve, because we get comfortable in our relationships. We make excuses for behaviors we shouldn’t make excuses for. Husbands and wives shouldn’t take each other for granted. We should treat one another like we’re still trying to win each other.
Parents shouldn’t expect their kids to love them just because we’re their parents. We’ve got to show them what love is: patience, unconditional acceptance, safety, support, respect, and joy. Life gets so complicated, because we’re struggling to pay bills. We work too much, and for other people who control our income. It sucks, no doubt. However, we have to remember what we deserve, and ask for time off to be with our loved ones. Ask for more money for the hard work we do.
Don’t feel like you don’t deserve the raise, because the company is in a down period. Stop living life by what you think you feel you deserve, based on misinformation. Love, work, everything. Remember what you deserve in all areas of your life, and fucking ask for it! Demand it. If you can’t get what you deserve, move on and find it someplace else, or with someone else. Never feel guilty for wanting want you deserve. Let that guilt feeling go.
Chalk it up to a new year, and go get what you deserve!