Two steps forward, one step back on the journey with depression. It’s normal to make huge strides while living with depression. I’ve come to the realization I’ll have struggles, get through the struggles, and find myself dealing with some of the same struggles more than once. Apparently, live and learn applies to me, but only when I live it a couple of times with certain things.

Two steps forward, one step back on the journey with depression

Two steps forward, one step back on the journey with depression

Just when you think you’ve gotten through yet another aspect of your depression, BOOM. It’s deja vu. Yup, I’m reliving it, and it’s frustrating. I’ve learned my temper flares are directly related to my depression, as well as my anxiety. I know EXACTLY what my triggers are that set off my temper flares. However, for whatever reason, I put myself back into the same situations that trigger my vicious anger.

What is that? It’s like taking one step back, after taking two steps forward. The result? I dance a lot. A LOT. I do a two step, and I think “this time, I got this.”

But I don’t. I just don’t.

What’s this mean for me? Hell if I know! All I can do is continue my journey with depression. It means I have to embrace my faults, and understand shit happens. I’m going to digress, because it is NORMAL to do this crazy two step, regardless of your distaste for country music.

The difference with how I deal with my set backs these days? I don’t beat myself up after I recognize I had a blip on the radar. I acknowledge it, work through it, and strive to not allow it to happen again.

What I want all of you to understand…. it’s OKAY when this happens. Don’t let it get you even further into the depression, and the anger. Keep moving forward.

Monthly updates and insights

As my journey can be a bit redundant, I’m scaling back to sharing once per month. It doesn’t mean I’m not still on this journey through depression. I’m still very much living with depression, however, I’m trying to find the right balance for sharing the journey. Weekly is rough for me, as it churns up a lot of emotions. Monthly should be easier for me, and probably for all of you out there following along.

What you should know is this: I’m here, and you can comment on my posts, or you can engage with me over on my November Sunflower Facebook page, or my November Sunflower Twitter account. Private messages, as well as shout outs on both social media platforms are welcome! Just give me a bit of time to see them, and react to them. I’m a one woman show, juggling a whole lot of “stuff.” Be patient. Be kind. Know I’m doing my very best.

Staci Gerardi

Staci loves to write, and loves to share her "take" on everything thrown her way. Movies, entertainment, food, fashion, shopping, money, travel and family. There's nothing off limits at NovemberSunflower.com, and Staci's always telling it like it is: good, bad, and all that lies in between!

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