Inner Beauty. It’s something I am very diligent about with my daughter, as well as my son. However, I feel like it’s something I have to really push with my daughter. She’s six, and for six years, she’s been told how beautiful she is by at least one person every day of her life. No joke.
I don’t write that to “gloat” or anything of that nature, I write it because it’s something of an issue. Yes, my daughter is beautiful. I would never say differently. She’s got dark hair, porcelain-like skin, and big, blue eyes that are surrounded by extremely long lashes. She’s kind, she’s helpful, and she’s got a great spirit about her. However, she’s in school now, and little girls can be vicious to each other. My little girl, though pretty, gets taken advantage of because she is so kind…..and it’s changing her. She seems to want to hear how “beautiful” she looks even more these days, which makes me think she’s starting to lose some of that self-esteem I’ve spent 6 years building up in her.
Her desire to be told how pretty she is, also makes me think she’s starting to lose that inner beauty of kindness, because the kindness is being stomped all over by little girls who don’t seem to have much inner beauty……just a whole lot of low self-esteem. At the age of 5 it started, but I slowly guided her to hang out with different girls at school. However, in first grade, it seems to be a larger issue.
It’s up to me to continue teaching her about inner beauty, and it is up to me to teach the difference between being “walked all over” and being helpful. It’s up to me to show her that being kind doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are strong.
My mother raised two girls. We both turned out very differently, but we’re both pretty darn strong chicks. We chose different paths to walk, we have different parenting styles, we have different lifestyles – but we are both strong women. We are both confident. We both care very little about what others think of us. It has served both of us well through the years, and I’m thankful to my mother for raising us in the way that she did. However, she has no clue what she did to make us this centered, and to have an abundance of self-esteem.
Basically, my mother is of no help. It’s totally not her job to help me, that’s for sure. However, it would be nice if she knew what the heck made the difference between raising us with inner beauty, and not raise two “mean girls” who need to put others down to feel better about who we are. Sometimes I think she wants to torture me for the hard times I did give her as a teen, but honestly, I think she just made her choices when she had to, and the chips fell where they fell.
ME? I’m too much of control freak for that kind of logic. I need HELP. I need guidance. I need a book to read, a magazine to refer to, and resources to help me raise my little girl to be kind, compassionate, nurturing, and filled with inner beauty. Every day it’s a struggle, but that’s why I seek help in different areas.
My most recent find? A phenomenal book. It’s from the creator of BYOU Magazine, Debra Gano. Beauty’s Secret A Girl’s Discovery of Inner Beauty is part of the Heartlight Girls™ Series. It’s all about empowering girls from the INSIDE OUT. It’s about giving them the tools to achieve amazing self-esteem, so they can truly be beautiful from the inside out.
How do I increase my daughter’s self-esteem? The key is to make sure she knows who she truly is. The book helps get this message into my daughter’s mind, even at her young age, it gave us chances to talk about inner beauty. It gave me ways to have her “get back” to who she really is. Even at the age of 6, my daughter is gentle, kind, and radiates this aura around her. Before she was in school, I never saw her do anything mean to another person. Last year, in Kindergarten, it started. It was at home, she would take out some anger on her baby brother. Speak to him as she was being spoken to by other little girls in her class.
It took me all year to remind her who she really was: gentle, kind, nurturing, loving, and helpful. Calling her little brother names, or laughing at him, was not who my Little Miss was deep in her heart. She got it. And she started to stay away from those girls in her class. So she “got it.”
Frustrating to see it happening again, just not as rapidly. Now, I have another tool in my belt to combat this mean-spirited behavior she is subjected to, and brings home with her without really “realizing” it.
If you have a little girl, or a little girl in your life, start them with this book at an early age. It can only help! It will be the best $17.95 you will ever spend in your lifetime. I kid you not. I’m totally looking forward to the next book, Star’s Attraction.