Girls. Girls. Girls. I have one of my own, and teaching her right from wrong is easy. However, teaching her to love herself, for who she is, is a whole different ball game my friends! It’s the hardest part about having a girl.
What is it about girls believing the BAD stuff people say about them, before they will believe the good stuff? I’ve never been like that, I don’t know how my mother did it, nor does she, but I’ve never had self-esteem issues. However, my daughter……..I’m not sure if I’m getting through to her!
She is told on a daily basis how beautiful she looks. People mean well, they like to compliment her, and then ask me if she’s modeling. I smile, and thank them. However, it starts to warp my daughter’s mind. She’s always asking if she looks beautiful, or pretty, or if this dress is “perfect” and “beautiful.” It makes my head hurt. I want her to know she’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but I also want her to know her true beauty is “who she is” and “how she treats others.”
My best way to make it clear is to approach it as “you look even more beautiful on the outside when you are being kind, generous, and helpful to others.” She seems to understand, but I hope I’m not sending another crazy message, or warping her mind even more, basing it back on her outside look…….UGH. It’s just a nightmare. I need HELP!!!!!
When I’m out and about, I always look for teachable moments. I get one each day, because she’s told at least once a day that she’s absolutely beautiful, or stunning, or pretty. Once we are out of earshot of that person, I reinforce that people say that to her because they saw her helping The Boy button his jacket, or heard her say a compliment to Mommy. Kind of try to get that beauty is brightest and most beautiful when she’s being a good person. It usually works, I THINK.
But I need things she can look at, regularly. I want her to have something in her hands she can read, and get these messages from other people, or sources, other than me. Just this last week, I took her to the dentist. The dentist told her the only way she would get rid of her runny, green slime nose, was if she drank plenty of water. I’ve been telling her for MONTHS, and she just refused. Dentist tells her ONE TIME, she’s been drinking lots of water since Monday. HELLO?????????!!!! The teenage years are going to be TORTURE. Pure. Torture. For. Me.
An amazing magazine is out there, founded by Debra Gano. It’s BYOU Magazine. It’s all about driving home the point of having healthy self-esteem. However, it’s fun. It has games, puzzles, interviews, and great information – done in a fun way, but still with that amazing self-esteem message! Everything is about being your own you, finding beauty within yourself, doing great things to give back to your community, and truly filling your soul up with good, which just shines through to the outside. Inner Beauty just enhances outer beauty, simple and to the point.
My daughter loved reading about how different “stars” defined “what do you think truly makes a girl beautiful?” The running theme throughout the answers was being kind to others, being SMART, having confidence, and feeling good about yourself. I asked her if she understood what each answer meant, and she explained what she thought it meant, and she was right on!
I loved a section where they had games for the kids to do. It was SPOT THE DIFFERENCE. It had two photos. It was the same photo of the same girl, but one was “enhanced” to look better for print. The other was left alone. The children were to spot the 9 differences in the picture. And in the description of the game, it had this written: Photos you see are not always as they appear; so never feel like you are not ‘pretty enough’ by comparing yourself. A lot of ‘magic’ can happen to a photo before you see it appear somewhere.
Though my daughter doesn’t have any issues with how she looks, that’s for sure, that will change as she grows older. I want her to know she is beautiful, on the inside and out, no matter what ANYONE else thinks of her. Acne will come, weight will vary, and she might get a haircut that isn’t fabulous. Appearance can change, but beauty is always going to be there, because every person is beautiful, regardless of what they look like. I think that game showed my daughter this fact, and it resonated, because it was in a magazine meant just for her.
Do you have a little girl in your life? A teenage girl? Any kind of young girl? You should enter to win a FREE ONE YEAR SUBSCRIPTION for BYOU Magazine. Normally it’s $17.97/year. It’s a great opportunity to start your little girls off in the right direction, and if you win it, at least one year will be free!
THE GIVEAWAY ***GIVEAWAY IS OVER. WINNER WAS CHOSEN.***
1 Year Subscription to BYOU Magazine
HOW TO ENTER (for each thing that you do, leave a SEPARATE COMMENT BELOW. The comments are the entries, and And The Winner Is…. chooses the winner based on the COMMENTS left):
- Leave a comment below telling me your biggest hurdle with self esteem *****MANDATORY
- Visit and like November Sunflower at Facebook
- Go and follow November Sunflower on Twitter
- Head to Pinterest and follow one, or all, of November Sunflower’s boards
- Visit and like BYOU Magzine on Facebook
- Follow BYOU Magazine on Twitter
Must be in the U.S. & 18 years or older to ENTER.
WINNER will be chosen on December 21, 2012 at 11:59PM EST. Winner will be chosen within two days of the ending of the giveaway, and will be given 48 hours to respond. If there is no response, the next winner on the list will be contacted, and the first forfeits the prize.
The winner will be contacted by email, and will need to provide FULL NAME, mailing address, phone number, and email. All information is REQUIRED by the magazine, in order to fulfill the subscription. Yes, even the phone number.
*I received ONE COPY of the magazine in order to write this review. It was the October/November issue.
I’ve always struggled with my self esteem. Im 23 and I look like Im twelve and it makes me insecure. My husbands sister is 13 and she’d love this magazine!
Biggest hurdle with self esteem: The young teenage stars my daughter sees on TV wearing hair extensions, makeup, and designer clothes. Kids should look like kids, even on television.
Self esteem has never really been an issue with me, thankfully.
My biggest hurdle is an issue with being a people pleaser. I hate to say no, hate to hurt feelings, hate to upset anyone. So I end up with putting up with too much BS, letting people stay in my life too long, and doing things I really don’t even want to do.
But, since having Abby – It’s gotten a lot better. I’m able to do things for HER, that I might not have been able to do before. Like, I can get rid of people because they’re not a positive influence in her life. I can make sure that I’m not setting a bad example by letting her see me letting myself be treated badly.
She is going to be a MILLION times more confident and successful than me – I will make sure she sees an awesome example, and grows up happy and safe. She’s totally made me a stronger woman :)